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Thursday, February 2, 2012

The Buns and Sausage Theory by Lorrianne Austerford

5:56PM
At home.

So for the past four days or something I have been banned from my laptop (again) by my darlingly charming mother nya. And today she's been gracious enough to let me go on again nya.

Not to waste any time nya! Now straight to the point nya~


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The Buns and Sausage Theory by Lorrianne Austerford

What is the Buns and Sausage Theory? It is a theory marvellously coined by the wonderfully exquisite Lorrianne Austerford.

As she was walking home from the supermarket after school with her [annoying] younger sister, they passed a young man with a mop of curly blond hair.

"Hey, look at that woman," Yuki's younger sister said.

Yuki stared at her. "What woman?" she asked.

"The woman that just passed us!" her sister answered.

"That was no woman," Yuki told her younger sister, who was fairly ignorant of the world at the tiny age of five.

"Yes it was!!" her sister argued.

"No, it wasn't. That was a man."

"Oh," her sister muttered. "But how did you know?"

Yuki sighed. This was going to be painful to explain to a girl who was already talking about "when I'm pregnant".

"Well, you see," Yuki began, "A man would have a sausage in between were his legs join together."

"Do I have a sausage?" her sister asked instantly.

Yuki groaned internally. The conversation was harder than she thought!

"No, you don't," the older girl replied. "And little girls like you have very very very small and flat buns on their chest."

"I have buns," Yuki's younger sister confirmed, pointing at the said area. "I can see them when I'm not wearing anything."

Yuki groaned aloud. "That's great," she tried to say enthusiatically. "Now, females like me and Mama have steamed bread buns on their chests."

"So they're bigger."

"Yes. You're so smart. Anyways, when women are pregnant--and for a while after they have their baby--their steamed bread buns become corn bread buns."

"Oh."

"Yah," Yuki mumbled, feeling somewhat self-conscious at explaining something like that.

"So I'll have steamed bread buns when I'm older?"

"Why don't you go and put in the code to open the gate?" Yuki suggested.


***


And that was the lovely awkward conversation between me and my younger sister Dora (Callidora) nya.

 
~Yuki xox

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